In the name of Allah, the most gracious, the most compassionate
Assalamualaikum dear readers,
hmmmmm i feel different somehow….i feel like ive abandoned my jihad though i still keep my duties, still doing my daily routine, still increasing my ibadahs bit by bit….insya’Allah….but i feel like ive slacked of on a certain aspect of my life….*sigh*…May Allah forgive me….i felt like ive failed on this part…i dont really want to say what but lets just leave it at that….the trials of this dun’ya….you can never say that you are strong because in actual fact you just dont know….man can fall at the blink of an eye….The shayateens whispers can be felt if you arent weary….you can open up the gates of ure nafs as easily as flicking your fingers….All thats stopping me from all that is my set borders….*phewww*….i gave myself some slack and it got me where i am now…*urghhh*…i cant say that i fell, but it feels like i have….May Allah forgive me….
Anyways…Insya’Allah will keep up doing my ibadahs to make up for them….though i know i shouldnt even think like that but hey that is what keeps me goin at the end of the day….im gonna be asked for this on the day of judgment….*urghh*….so much will be asked of me….i hope my ibadahs get accepted and makes up for whatever wrongs ive done….
~…Allah…Allah….we are only as strong as you will us Ya Allah….make us have the strength and patience to go through this….even if we do things that displeases you…Paradise and Hell belong to You Ya’Rabb…only You are the decider of who goes into which…make us the ones who will enter your paradise….even if we dont deserve to be there as we would not be able to endure the punishment of hellfire for your punishment is severe O’Allah….Forgive us of our sins Ya’Rabb…for only You are the forgiver of sins….ameen~
Ive been meaning to share this with all who are reading for quite some time now….was looking for the file for ages and decided to give up but what do you know….it was sitting in one of my folders all this while….here you go….may you benefit from this read…
Author: Sh. Hamed ibn Abdullah Al-Ali
Question: I would like to let you know that I have committed most major sins and I am not saying this in order to take pride in my sins; I used to feel this before but not any longer. I have drunk wine twice in my life or perhaps three times, I don’t know. I have committed adultery with almost 10 women and I was about to destroy the future of a girl but Allah saved her from my harm; I do not know is it possible that Allah repents on me and forgives me? I don’t know, I have tried to repent more than once and every time I return to the same sins to the degree that I have felt I am a hypocrite who is not afraid of death and being accounted. Sometimes I feel that Allah loves me and that I love Him, but then Satan quickly takes over my heart again.
I have defeated Satan in many rounds, but he defeated me in more battles; Is it possible for me to return to Allah once again and how? I have prayed a lot but more than that I have interrupted my prayers. My weakness has reached points a believer cannot imagine. I have sworn upon the Holy Quran that I will stop smoking but I haven’t. I have promised Allah Himself that I will not view pornographic sites and that I will never visit them again and that I will not watch those unclean movies that the west uses to kill our faith but I have broken my promise to Allah; My will has weakened to a level that nobody can imagine after I used to have strength in performance and the ability to change my personality and my way of life; I have become a person who does not feel the pleasure of life even though I still maintain my soul and my rounds of vice, sins, lying, cheating; so how do I get rescued? I want to know what religious people have known but what I haven’t. I am sure that they know something I don’t know and don’t feel, so why? This is me so what do I do to benefit me, may Allah benefit you.
Answer: In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise be to Allah, and prayers and greetings upon our prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
The prophet (PBUH) said Allah will repent upon whoever repents before the sun rises from the west
[reported by Muslim from the hadith of Abu Hurairah]
I have read your message, and I know that nothing prevents you from repenting, even if your sins reach the sky or fill the whole earth. As long as the human is in this life, the door of repentance is open. I have noted from your letter that you are living a battle between the call of faith in your heart, and the call of desire that is guided by Satan in your heart
Praise be to Allah the Exalted who has retained in your heart some of the light of faith, which blames you for sins, and beautified good deeds to you. But this light is weak, because the darkness of sins, which are the blowings of Satan, has weakened this light. This is why it sometimes shines, making your conscience awake a little, only to extinguish again and you return to committing sins. I will clarify to you the illness that you are suffering from, then I will describe the treatment, so please read this with reflection and interest, may Allah benefit you from it. Dear brother, the heart is the place of will in the human; sometimes it wants good, and sometimes evil, and the body parts are nothing but soldiers that obey the heart according to what it desires. The difference between religious people and yourself is that the hearts of the former firmly want good, so their body parts obey this will and are thus persistent in obeying Allah the Exalted. As for yourself, your heart knows good and evil, and differentiates between good and bad deeds, but it cannot want good, so you find that it wants desires even though it knows they will harm it, so it commands the body parts so they obey it, but what is the reason?.
The reason is that the hearts that are immune to Satan easily want to do good because these hearts are healthy and strong. On the other hand, in hearts that Satan can enter and wonder in freely, Satan can easily achieve making the heart want sins, after he has made them look attractive to the heart, because the latter is ill and full of satanic germs. For some people, Satan only briefly enters their hearts owing to the strong immunity surrounding them.
For example, those who commit minor sins then quickly repent from them, and those are the ones about whom Allah (SWT) has said (interpretation of the meaning): {The pious ones, when a visitation from Satan afflicts them they become mindful, then lo! they see.}. There are some people whom Satan never comes close to their hearts, as they are like the sky, which is guarded from devils by flames; likewise their hearts are guarded from devils.
The Prophet (PBUH) has said about this heart white like a smooth rock not harmed by temptation as long as the heavens and earth exist
[reported by Muslim from the hadith of Huzaifah (RAA)].
Satan has entered the hearts of other people and has dwelled there and created a nest for himself in which he lays his eggs and hatches them. So he has controlled these hearts, commanding them to do forbidden desires, so their hearts want these desires and command their body parts to commit them and they indeed do that. This is because Satan has found hearts that have no immunity, their doors open, weak and ill owing to committing sins, and this is why Allah the Exalted has said about this type (interpretation of the meaning) {Satan has gained the mastery over them, so he has made them forget the remembrance of Allah}. Because the zikr (remembrance) of Allah is immunity from Satan, Satan has made them forget it in order to control and drive their hearts, which their body parts will then follow. The heart is not immunized from Satan except with the zikr of Allah the Exalted, and it does not have the strength to want good except by doing good deeds. Satan does not defeat the heart unless it is inattentive of the zikr of Allah the Exalted and weak because of committing sins and vice.
And now, after you have known the reason why your heart does not obey you in wanting to do good and avoid sins, and cannot preserve its righteousness, the treatment is in the following medical prescription. Take it and maintain it as its results are guaranteed -Allah willing – if you persevere it honestly:
1. Maintain the five prayers in congregation, especially the fajr prayer and never miss it. Allah the Exalted says {and the fajr reading, for the fajr reading is witnessed} i.e. the fajr prayer is witnessed by angels.
2. After the fajr prayer remain in the mosque to read the Quran until sunrise, and then offer 2 rakas 10 minutes after sunrise.
3. Say subhan Allah wa bi hamdih (may Allah be glorified and praised) one hundred times a day at any time in the mosque or house, whether walking, sitting, in the car, etc. This zikr wipes out sins.
4. Ask forgiveness of Allah one hundred times each day, saying astaghfirullah wa atoobu ilayh (I ask forgiveness of Allah and I repent to Him), once again at any time you wish and in whatever condition you are in.
5. Say this zikr: la ilaha illa Allahu wahdahu la sharika lah, lahulmulku wa lahulhamdu wa howa ala kul shayin qadeer (there is no god but Allah; He has no partner; He has the possession and praise, and He is capable of everything) one hundred times each day at any time you wish and in whatever condition you are in. It doesn’t necessarily have to be said in the mosque. The prophet (PBUH) maintained these zikrs, as they are the life of the heart and its indispensable nutrition.
6. Between Maghrib and Ishaa remain in the mosque and do not leave it, and recite as much as you can of the Quran while concentrating
7. You should totally avoid watching TV and reading magazines, and going to places where there is vice, as you are in quarantine in order to restore health to your heart, and the medicine (good deeds) will not benefit you if you induce disease (sins) into your heart during the treatment period.
8. Continue this program for at least a month: living with the Quran reciting it with consideration, and acting upon what is in it; spending time alone for long hours for the zikr of Allah the Exalted. The proof of doing this for a month is that the prophet (PBUH) ordered that by saying “Recite the Quran in a month, in 25 days, in 10 days, in 7 days” [Bukhari & Muslim from the hadith of Ibn Omar]
9. If the environment in which you live does not support you in applying this program then change this environment: abandon bad friends, and avoid places in which you spend your free time if they encourage you to commit sins, and if you can travel to Makkah for example to follow this program then do it.
10. Donate part of your money as a form of repentance to Allah the Exalted, as secret charities are seen only by Allah the Exalted. In the authentic hadith “Secret charities extinguish the anger of the Lord” [narrated by ibn Hibban from the hadith of Anas].
11. Try to perform umrah with the intention of renewing your faith and cleansing your past with the water of this blessed trip. The prophet (PBUH) said A umrah causes forgiving of sins since the previous umrah, and an accepted hajj has no reward other than paradise [Bukhari & Muslim from the hadith of Abu Hurairah (RAA)].
12. If you owe anything to others return everything, and do not retain anything you will be accounted for, as a form of repentance to Allah.
13. Ask Allah every night during the sahar (prior to fajr) with this supplication Rabbi inni zalamtu nafsi zulman kathiran wa la yaghfir uzunuba illa Ant, faghfir lee maghfiratan min indik warhamni, inaka Anta Alghafoor Urraheem (My Lord, I have oppressed myself a lot and only You forgive sins, so forgive me a forgiveness from You and have mercy upon me, You are Most Forgiving, Most Merciful), and also Allahuma alhimni rushdi wa qini shar nafsi(O Allah, grant me my the right way and protect me from the evil of myself), as the prophet (PBUH) taught these two to some of his companions. >> >>In addition, perform a lot of istighfar and supplication, as the sahar is a time of acceptance of supplication.
This is your prescription, and one month is not necessarily the period required, as change might appear on you before that, or you might need more than a month in this quarantine. The goal is to expel Satan from the heart and clean his traces and dirt and the filth that he has placed there, as this is the reason behind the weakness of your heart and its incapability of wanting good and doing good deeds, and its quickness to follow desires. So if health returns to your heart and you become fit and strong when it comes to the zikr of Allah the Exalted, immune from the cunningness of Satan, then you may slightly reduce this program to the extent that you can withstand,
as the prophet (PBUH) said “You should do what you can withstand”
[Bukhari & Muslim from the hadith of Aisha (RAA)],
unless you can withstand more than this, for in this case you should increase doing good as long as your heart loves good deeds. These faithful duties are the levels as considered by Allah: the more a servant does, s/he ascends in the levels of piety. The best things to perform are what Allah has prescribed upon you (obligatory forms of worship). You will notice that things have changed in a surprising manner, as long as you maintain the prescription I have given you, and you will find yourself hating to commit sins and your heart not wanting them, looking at them with inferiority and disdain. You will also like good deeds and feel enthusiastic about them, and feel their good taste in your heart. The secret behind this change is that you have treated you heart with the zikr of Allah the Exalted and good deeds until your heart has become healthy wanting good and loving it after it was ill, wanting evil and sins and loving them. Allah, the Truth and Exalted says (interpretation of the meaning) {but Allah has endeared the faith to you and has made it seemly in your hearts, and He has made hateful to you unbelief and transgression and disobedience; those are the followers of the right way). By grace from Allah and as a favor; and Allah is Most Knowing, Most Wise} and Allah knows best
“O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zâlimûn (wrong-doers, etc.”)
(Al Hujurat, Chap 49, Verse 11)
A time will come when literally that will be your last day and last night on the face of this earth.
